To those that are wondering: I am alive and well.

How do you decide if something you own will be meaningful or significant to you in later years? I am packing up and leaving home, and I am just now realizing just how many keepsakes I have collected. Most of my things are already moved out; the practical things are gone. Everyday clothes, my books, my tools, my toothbrush have already left. Now I am left with the mishmash and confusion of all the little tokens I have accrued. I find it hard to be sentimental about many of the things that are left. The awards, the graduation cap, the pictures on the wall. Those things will not be a part of my future life and are barely a part of my present. They didn't really make me happy even when I first got them.

So why am I hesitating to throw out all of my souvenirs of the past? My possessions are not my memories, not my experiences after all. Could it possibly be an unconscious resistance to moving out and to change? Is moving to Washington what I really want? It's certainly not the future that I had picked out and gift-wrapped, ready to be delivered from the store only a few months ago. My life has made a radical shift in direction, and it is a bit disorienting.

I like where it's going, though. I feel happy and excited to work and love and live. My present is wonderful and my future is bright... I guess I won't be needing any of my old things, those reminders of my past self after all.

P.S. I am deeply sorry to the people in my life who love me. I know I scared all of you by leaving so suddenly. It was not a premeditated act, but I suppose that is no real excuse. The only thing I ask now is forgiveness.