hey, guess what? i miss you!

Dear ____,

I got caught cheating on a test today. Except I wasn't cheating. I was writing a letter for you and staring out the window. The ripped up paper hurt, but not as much as the embarrassment. For a minute my cheeks burned red and tears came to my eyes. But then I stood up, and took the steps to get out of the door. I shook my head to dislodge the panic and bewilderment and told myself to forget it. Too late now, and it only stings worse if I brood.

Dear ____,

You would love to be on this bus right now. As far as crowds go, this one seems like a pretty normal bunch (at least compared to the 35 bus). But both you and I know about the secret worlds and secret ideas and secret doings of the general public that go on... mostly in our imaginations.

The guy with black whiskers and dirty cap is a familiar face by now. Did you know that he wore a bright purple, chin-length wig last tuesday, the day it rained 12 inches? you would have been able to think up some great stories about that one. I bet you'd have even had the courage to ask him about it. I consider asking him now, but seeing as he is wigless today, i feel the moment has passed.

"Hey Mary." pause... "It's Jose." he says to the older woman buried in her carpetbag.

she nods.

"I've been making a lot of artwork lately. But I sold it all."

"Oh, that's nice." intones Mary.

And it is nice! Part of the mystery of purple wig man is uncovered.

Jose crosses his leg to reveal black and purple striped women's stockings. The same color as his wig. The same color as the scarf I am wearing... now his bus stop stares toward me make sense.

"I'm broke." says Jose.

"mhmm." Mary, you bitch. Pay attention to him!

she scans her copy of the Santa Cruz Sentinel.

"Look, want these coupons?" she lifts the colored insert out of the paper.

Jose takes it dutifully, but throws the trash she handed him aside when she goes back to her article about striking nurses.

"All I have right now is colored pencils." He laughs. "Should sue that bitch to get some art supplies."

Mary moves to another seat, and Jose is gone at the next stop.